The Astonishing Color of After

The Astonishing Color of After

By: Emily X. R. Pan
Narrated by Stephanie Hsu
Release date: 20 March 2018
Listening length: 11 hours, 52 minutes
My review: five out of 5 stars

"Emily X.R. Pan's brilliantly crafted, harrowing first novel portrays the vast spectrum of love and grief with heart-wrenching beauty and candor. This is a very special book." (John Green, best-selling author of The Fault in Our Stars and Turtles All the Way Down)

A stunning, heartbreaking debut novel about grief, love, and family, perfect for fans of Jandy Nelson and Celeste Ng.

Leigh Chen Sanders is absolutely certain about one thing: When her mother died by suicide, she turned into a bird.

Leigh, who is half Asian and half white, travels to Taiwan to meet her maternal grandparents for the first time. There, she is determined to find her mother, the bird. In her search, she winds up chasing after ghosts, uncovering family secrets, and forging a new relationship with her grandparents. And as she grieves, she must try to reconcile the fact that on the same day she kissed her best friend and longtime secret crush, Axel, her mother was taking her own life.

Alternating between real and magic, past and present, friendship and romance, hope and despair, The Astonishing Color of After is a stunning and heartbreaking novel about finding oneself through family history, art, grief, and love.

This book was so powerful for me. Most of my life, I've suffered with depression and though it isn't as severe as Leigh's mother's, suicide is something that is a concern. I loved that Leigh imagined her mother had changed into a bird. The fact that the bird was red is something that connected me to the story even more. My mom's favorite color was red and so anytime I see things in that vibrant shade, I am reminded of her. Leigh is just looking for answers. In Taiwan, she gets to meet her maternal grandparents. Due to the language gap, it is hard for her to communicate. 

I loved this story. Its beautiful imagery had me picturing even more in my head when reading. The way that all the little things tied together, just icing on the cake.