Gender Queer: A Memoir

Gender Queer: A Memoir

Written and illustrated by: Maia Kobabe

Print length: 240 pages

Publication date: May 28, 2019

My review: not rated 

In 2014, Maia Kobabe, who uses e/em/eir pronouns, thought that a comic of reading statistics would be the last autobiographical comic e would ever write. At the time, it was the only thing e felt comfortable with strangers knowing about em. Now, Gender Queer is here. Maia’s intensely cathartic autobiography charts eir journey of self-identity, which includes the mortification and confusion of adolescent crushes, grappling with how to come out to family and society, bonding with friends over erotic gay fanfiction, and facing the trauma and fundamental violation of pap smears.
Started as a way to explain to eir family what it means to be nonbinary and asexual, Gender Queer is more than a personal story: it is a useful and touching guide on gender identity—what it means and how to think about it—for advocates, friends, and humans everywhere.

"It’s also a great resource for those who identify as nonbinary or asexual as well as for those who know someone who identifies that way and wish to better understand." — SLJ (starred review)


I don't feel comfortable giving someone's memoir about their journey a star rating, so I will just leave it at my personal review. Content warnings taken from common sense media: "Explicit but not erotic illustrations of sexual activity include masturbation, oral sex, sex toys, kissing in an implied sex position, erections, and a fantasy image of a man holding another's penis. There are no violent acts, but there are a few bloody, nightmarish pictures showing fear and trauma surrounding menstruation and getting a Pap smear. Strong language includes "d—k," "c—k," "f—k," and "s—t."

I found this to be a very informative book about one person's journey to find themselves. Kobabe was candid about both eir gender and sexuality. I can see why some parents would want this book banned in schools, but that is the exact reason this book should be available to anyone. 

Can you imagine if this book had been available when Kobabe was young, how it could have helped them to understand a little bit more about their gender and sexual identity. 

The drawings and way that Kobabe illustrated eir thought process in this book was just perfect. I wish there was a way to capture and share them with my family. It would be an easier way to share about gender identity that I wouldn't have thought of before. 

Parents need to be aware of what is in the book and know what is appropriate for their child to read. My 13-year-old has read this book and we were able to have candid discussions about sex and gender as well as sexual identity after reading. I feel more educated after reading this book and feel it is something that should never be removed from a school library.